I went to pick Hannah up from school yesterday after the nurse called and told me she was crying that her stomach hurt. I explained that it was probably just her nerves and she advised me she was really crying. The tears wouldn't stop dripping down her face. At that moment I could see her face and knew how bad she needed me. As much as I explained Hannah's situation to her, I felt that something wasn't right about the last couple weeks. This just isn't the place for my child to feel so uncomfortable at. She should feel safe, protected and at ease. But she's not feeling any of that.
I knew I needed to speak to the principle upon arriving at the office but the lady that came out said I needed to make an appointment. I said I needed to speak to someone now and I'm not waiting until Monday. What kind of school is this where you can't walk in and speak to the principle or the vice.
I was very nice to these people but now your making me get vicious. They call Hannah down because I felt that I wasn't going to get to speak to anyone, but then I told the office ladies that they should call her teacher back because I wasn't leaving until I spoke to someone. Give me a counselor, a somefreakingbody. Don't claim I can't speak to anyone. The office seems pretty empty. No authority in sight. But she tells me she's going to get the school counselor. He's busy though. She'll see if she can find him. I'll wait. I waited longer than necessary and Hannah had arrived for me to pick her up. I finally get up and tell the desk ladies to tell the lady who is finding these people in charge to forget it. "She obviously don't think it's important when I told her it was urgent. I'll just call later." Oh no. Wait we will try to find him. Finally he does come out and seems to be a fruit freaking loop but I sit down to talk to him anyways. Hannah waited in the office while I discussed everything with him behind closed doors.
Whether or not he takes my info and relays it to the principle, teacher and everyone else in that school is his job. I've discussed in letters, via phone and now in person. I will also take the fifth to rip this teacher a new one if it even lasts until then.
I was pretty sure that Hannah just didn't go to the bathroom like we discussed and she's very flustered with it all. She knows she needs to go but she either forgets or holds it in because I'm not there to help her. Yes. I still wipe my kids ass. I don't need poop on her hands or her clothes, so I do it at home for her. She's well aware of how to do it. I taught her. But she's little and has a hard time reaching. She refuses to do it the way I taught her and believe me, I've repeatedly shown her. Some kids just have a hard time with it. But as much as I talked with her and taught her how to be a big girl, she's my baby and just needs me still.
After we took a bath, had something to eat and made cookies, we worked on homework and then rested for bed. We talked. A lot. I don't let a day go by without knowing everything about my children and discussing all the details of life because I need to make sure that when I'm not around, they can take care of themselves.
She cried and we both got very emotional. I cried because I don't want my babies to feel like no one is there for them. She expressed no one is there at school. I know what the school is like. So when she gets off the bus she heads to have breakfast and then hurries to get to class. Because all the aides and teachers are on a tight schedule, they make it seem like these kids don't have a minute to go to the bathroom and I know that is why she feels like she cannot. But I explained to her that if someone is rushing her, then she just needs to ignore it and take her time. Go into the bathroom anyways.
Aside from the whole bathroom situation, she has not been herself. I know my kids and when something is obviously making my child not act like her normal happy self, then I need to get to the bottom of it. She is very feisty and aggressive lately. Meaner than ever and overall just not Hannah. So when we talked, I make sure no one is hurting her at school in any way, shape or form. Ask her thoroughly if the teacher is saying mean things or any of the students bullying her. Everything seems to be fine, except when she gets on the bus for an hour after school, she starts crying again about how she has to go pee like every minute and she has to sit with two other girls and she just doesn't want to be on the bus anymore or go to school.
I can't make them pick the kids up later or change the bus schedule because I already tried. I said she's just going to have to remember to go potty before she gets on the bus and after lunch. I know she doesn't have a problem with incontinence. But she does have major health issues. After her antibiotics, I gave her the inhaler as prescribed but also feel like that is not what's best for her. It seems to make her off the wall and it could be making her feel sick. Which is frustrating because if it's not breathing problems, it's stomach problems. If it's not that, it's something else.
I'm guessing she may also have an allergy to milk, peanut butter and other foods but the doctors office is so damn difficult that it takes nearly 20 years to get to the bottom of something. It's not that easy to switch doctors here and I've been through the hassle time and time again. Last year it was a constant back and forth blood testing, along with hospital trips and day surgery. It just seems like everything we are doing is not working or works for a minute and then doesn't pull through. Something else happens.
In the midst of it all, I'm considering home schooling again. I home schooled M when she was this age and I feel the best thing for my daughter would be to do this. As much as I'd love for her to learn from someone else and be connected with children, it's not the best environment for her. If it was a different school, different situation then maybe. But for now I think she's happy at home with her mama hen and feeling safer in my presence.
