{pic courtesy of M's iPhone}
When i was younger i was so shy that i put this huge guard up and looked at myself in a totally different way than i do now. I seen all my flaws and tried to hide them any way possible. I wouldn't make eye contact, i looked the other way when a guy i liked was talking to me and even hid my face with my hair. I was young. I had no idea what beauty truly meant.
And then....i grew up! I felt and still feel extrememly comfortable with guys that i'm not interested in. I tend to have better friendships with guys. Such as; they don't secretely hate you because they envy the things about you or are jealous of the things you have---they just naturally like the person you are and don't let "girl" issues get in the way. We can laugh over the word "Fart" and call it a day!
When I met Bryan, I was totally not into him the way he was me. I probably did more things in front of him that I wouldn't have done when I was with a guy that I "Liked."
Probably because I didn't care if he liked me or not. And now that I'm 13 years older, I totally understand WHY GUYS FALL FOR YOU!
Tips on how to make someone fall in love with you!
1.) When someone is talking to you, whether you like them or not: LOOK them in the EYE!
2.) Smile. Smiles are so contagious, genuinely beautiful and can make someones day.
3.) Wink. Just a little bit. My specialty is a simple wink. I can't help it but my eye naturally winks at some people. I don't even think about doing it, it just does it. {my right eye is a killa}. Now just because I wink at you, doesn't mean I want to crawl in the sack. In my personal life, I just want everyone to feel beautiful, loved, liked, etc....but it works if you want people to love, like you!
4.) Laugh. If something is funny---Laugh.
5.) Eat. Eat a lot of food and don't ever be afraid to eat with your mouth open. I never ate in front of guys. Now I couldn't care less. When I'm hungry and you sit right in front of me, beware this mouth is chomping. I eat like a pig. Ok...I keep it classy when I want to!
6.) Be the first to say hello or something. I notice some people {we won't mention names} tend to ignore that you are there?! and fail to say good morning to you. Why is it that when you like someone, you don't talk to them? Say Hello, Good Morning, How are you, Have a good night...etc.
Ok. So maybe they just don't like you and don't want to speak to you? with some people that may be the case. But for a guy/girl who is showing signs of uncomfortableness with someone:
signs include-
a.) not making full eye contact
b.) looking at you when you don't think they're looking (we have good eyes for a reason: we can see)
c.) won't talk to you much about your personal life
d.) act shy around you but not others
e.) tells you someone else likes you but really that someone else is them {they're just dishing to see if you like that someone back}
f.) acting like they forgot what you told them just to ask you the same question over and over
g.) purposly bumping into you and apologizing profusely
h.) acting like you don't exist sometimes, trying to pick on you, make you feel bad or like you did something wrong, or like you are an idiot. weird but true.
they act like this because they like you but don't want you to know it=immaturity
in relationships, whether it's friendships or dating, you don't know how to act around a person you like simply because you don't want that feeling of rejection. you MUST come out of that little shell and be yourself. Ultimately this is why people love you!! Because you are who you are and no one can replace that!
7.) Give compliments. I tend to replace a compliment given to me with the , "so do you" and it turns into a laughing moment because then the sarcasm sneaks in. I often get, "You look nice today!" When in reality, I couldn't look nicer than the meat i'm slicing and so I just say, "So do you!" and we both bust out laughing because we really don't look that great! But who cares.
8.) Be fun. Some people are just too serious. Joke a little, laugh and have moments when you make those little remarks, looks, gestures because sometimes we just need to live. The seriousness doesn't have to be ALL THE TIME.
9.) Be Real. Say whatever you want to say and do whatever you want to do, because if you think someone won't like you because you say, "I have to Fart!" believe me---they'll like you even more!
10.) Be Messy. I'm a very clean, neat freak but sometimes, you just have to BE MESSY. For instance: my hair has to be in a net everyday. I have no time to care about fly aways, greys poking out or cheese on my face. For real. If anything ever in my life, I thought that being perfect with my looks was something attractive and that is the absolute backwards/twisted way of thinking! People like to see your hair a bit messy sometimes. If something is on your face (in my case, people know why it's there) we laugh and don't mind, and if we look hella tired it's because we work our asses off. It's okay to look a little less than perfect as long as we're still smiling and making light of the day!
11.) Don't Be LAZY. I'm very work oriented, have a strong belief that if you think you have nothing to be doing, do something! People are very attracted to me keeping busy, cleaning, my customer service skills and my work ethic. They also love that I don't have to be told to do something, I'm just smart enough to do it. Everything is COMMON SENSE in this world. Although there are many that have no idea what that is and need to be slapped. But if you have a brain, use it. Do what your mind tells you to do instead of standing around doing nothing!!
12.) Play Hard to Get but Not too Hard. I'm personally way too busy to make time for anyone other than my two girls and my babe. But if you don't already have a family, still play like you are far too busy for people. I don't text people back right away. That's not because I'm playing hard to get it's just because I simply couldn't care less about texting but I notice it pisses people off and I don't do it intentionally but you can. Here's the thing. People get irate when you don't show them attention. Don't ever be the first to jump on anything right away. Love takes time and it def. happens when you are least expecting it. If you get a text, let it sit for a while before you respond. If you get an invite, act like you are unsure of showing up and perhaps show up at last minute. It doesn't have to be all the time but pick and choose when you want to play.
I personally don't have time for other people outside of my family right now. We work crazy hours and we cherish the time spent home with each other. I don't need or want anyone else. And here's the thing about getting people attracted to you---it happens when you really don't want it to happen! I'm not looking for a man or a relationship and I try to make guys at my work NOT LIKE ME. It's the things I'm naturally doing to be myself that I thought would make people not like me and it's working against me. I thought if I scratch my nose in front of someone or left cheese on my apron that people wouldn't be so attracted to me. I thought that if I state, "I Gotta Fart" in front of a dude that they would just say ew, your gross...instead I get laughs and " here do it in the cooler, so it doesn't smell! "
My point is....Always Be Yourself and Everyone Else will love you FOR YOU!
-------------------How to Make someone Stay in Love with you------------------
Have Sex. Lots of it. Make time for your love. Don't feel like having it tonight, fine. Don't go more than 3 days without it.
Communicate. Talk about anything and everything. Don't ignore situations, come up with solutions and make it work. Together it will happen, alone will break you! A family that prays together, stays together.
Don't Have Secrets. Bryan and I tell each other about everything. At the end of the day, this man has my back no matter what. He'll protect me to the fullest and needs to know everything, from the guys who like me, to the guys that don't. Together we have secrets, apart we do not.
Go out alone. Without the kids. We are very fortunate enough now to have the girls stay home by themselves sometimes and when they are at school, we have mini lunch dates. it's important to just take a moment out of your busy day to sneak a little kiss in the middle of the day. especially if you skipped sex the night before.
Be Supportive. It's okay to disagree but the end result should be to support what your loved ones wishes are and for you to both mutally agree that the decision is the best for both. Support each other and make sure you both are good with whatever the decision may be.
Fighting is Healthy. As long as you make up. Bryan and I have mini fights, even big fights but they only last for 2.5 seconds and then we talk to each other like nothing happened. Even when we are upset, we have a rule that we don't ever leave without kissing or saying I love you. It's never a good feeling when you are angry but don't ever, ever leave a heated situation without saying, "I love you!" You'll never forgive yourself if that loved one was taken from you that next minute.
-The next time you argue and they want to leave, before the door shuts, shout out, "Love you!" it makes you both realize that the fighting isn't worth it and you both need to get over it!
Give compliments. I shouted in a parking lot one day after lunch;, "Bye Sexy!" and it threw him for a loop. Bryan is my cutie, my sexy hunk-o rama but he struggles with his own issues and it's nice to make him feel good about himself and for him to know that I love him and I'm def. still attracted to him.
Send an unexpected email/text or little note in his lunch box. Just something simple that makes you both realize that the love is still alive.
Take showers together. We have a big enough shower to jump in and unwind even if it's only a few minutes!
Give body rubs. I struggle with this because my hands and wrists have the worst arthritis but it's important. I used to hate the feeling of slimy lube but lube it up and rub!
Make time. If you think you are far too busy to make time for each other whether it's sex, mini lunch dates, chatting to catch up, etc.....it's never not a good time to make time for your babe!
Love. We both love each other more than anything and our love is wider, deeper than the sea! It takes both to love, to understand and to make the relationship work. Don't blame each other for anything, take those blames and turn them into thin air. They are non-existant.
♥Happy Love Making♥
4 comments:
{sigh} I wish it was this easy. I am with someone I think is "the one" but I know I'm not "the one" for him. I don't know how to let hom go though. I'm not ready. Life and love is so frusterating at times.
Love this post - thankyou!
Cheers,
Messy
What great lists!
My son (when 4) would literally throw himself into a wall when the girl he was crushing on was in the room. JUST to get her attention!
I like to say he got it from his dad, but he didn't...
There's hope! Thanks for all the fantastic tips.
I really like this column! I get asked how do you get a guy to like you quite a bit and my advice is usually very similar to this. But sometimes it just takes the form of one word - confidence. Self-confidence is the single most attractive trait for a man or a woman. As long as it doesn't tilt into arrogance.
Plus, you have to be just as aware of whether you are as right for this person as you believe he is for you.
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